Cold, Cold Porcelain

It is hard for me to remember the events of late 2006 with any degree of precision or accuracy. However, I highly doubt my memory was any better at the time.

In the span of time from October to December of that year, my relationship with Adam suffered considerably. The resurfacing of my ex-boyfriend and the arguments that swiftly followed, kicked off a miserable chain of events that Adam and I never quite came back from. With a quickness, we were thrown into a revolving door of accusations and low blows.

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Just Keep Swimming (A Weight Loss Journey Update)

Contrary to what would be a perfectly understandable and acceptable assumption, I have not fallen off the weight loss wagon. I can just imagine it now: Me, rolling down a hill of cupcakes and conveniently landing on the sofa…right next to a box of chocolates. (Sigh) If only.

No, my good friends, I have actually done my best not to ditch my weight loss goals for an entire carton of Haagen-Dazs coffee ice cream. Of course, this wasn’t the easiest task for me, what with moving and the flu and all. It’s not been what I’d exactly hoped, but I’m still here and still trying. Surely that counts for something, right?

Well, even if my efforts are actually complete crap, I’m here to update you guys on what I’ve been up to post-flu. I mean, let’s just be honest here…I didn’t do jack all in the span of time between my last update and two weeks ago. But don’t worry! I’m back in the game and I’m here to win. 🙂

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Weight Loss Journey Update: FML, I Have 163 Lbs To Lose

It has probably been a week or so since my last weight loss journey update. I’ve been procrastinating a bit with the update for a couple of reasons, but the most prominent reason has to do with the fact that I’ve been dealing with some fairly difficult stuff in my everyday life. The last few days have been especially emotionally trying for me, which has caused me to get off track with many of my goals. Of course, I made the mistake of allowing my emotions to disrupt my weight loss routine (as always), so I wasn’t particularly thrilled about announcing that I haven’t been on my best behavior diet-wise.

Despite my recent shortcomings, I am not completely discouraged. This last period of time has been challenging, yes, but I am dead set on getting back on track this week. Since my last update, I have managed to shake off my anxiety about trying to lose weight ASAP. I’m really starting to come to terms with the reality of my situation, and the reality is that this process will be one hell of a marathon. Not a sprint, but a cross-country crawl. I will not reach my goal weight any time in the near future, so I may as well forget about trying to achieve the impossible.

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Weight Loss Update: Big Changes, Discouragement and Unexplained Illness

It has been a little while since I last mentioned my weight loss progress. Much to my own surprise, I didn’t go ape nuts with food after my water fast. On the contrary, I rolled directly out of the fast into a sensible weight loss regimen. It is far too early to declare any amazing or shocking results, but I am managing to stick with it. So far, so good.

You know how you can sometimes be on a diet, cutting so much out that you want to maul anyone who gets to eat something other than rabbit food? I’ve definitely been there countless times before, which is why I am trying to not make the same mistake all over again. My only real concern is that I’m starting to feel as though my current weight loss plan may be too manageable. Too easy.

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Water Fasting Fail: What Went Wrong & What I Learned

Hey, guys! What is up? Hopefully, everyone is doing well. It’s Friday, so the weekend is upon us, which is always a blessing, huh? I mean, unless you work weekends. In that case, I’m sorry. Really, really sorry. As for what’s been up with me, let’s get into that.

If you’ve been following my water fasting experiment and you read my last post (if not, what are you doing with your life??), then you already know that my attempt at a ten-day water fast was a major fail. Now that I’ve had the chance to recuperate, reflect and eat, I’d like to share my thoughts about the experience. Perhaps it will help someone who is a newbie or fasting-curious (as I was) get an idea of what to look out for.

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My Ten Day Water Fasting Experience: Trouble In Paradise (Day 3/Final Day – Early Termination)

Day 3 of 10 did not go as planned.

I have mixed feelings about what has occurred today, but the most profound feeling I have is one of extreme gratitude. At this time, it is hard for me to articulate my emotions and thoughts outside of that, so I am going to have to return at a later time to explain what “went wrong”. I just hope I don’t look like too much of a wuss. Hey, I did the best I could. I’m proud of myself for even trying. Eh…just trying to stay positive. Fake it til you make it.

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My Ten Day Water Fasting Experience: I Quit! (Day 2)

Not gonna lie…today sucked really, really, really, really, really, really bad. Though I was nowhere near grouchy, my mood was reasonably impacted. As difficult as my struggles with anxiety and depression have been in the past, nothing could have prepared me for the crippling amount of self-doubt and weakness that I faced today.

I’m a pretty strong woman, but this water fasting experience is challenging me in ways I have staunchly avoided for a very long time. So even though I am not particularly enjoying the ride thus far, I’m learning so much about myself. Will I continue to learn more? Well, you’ll just have to keep tuning in to find out. I’m curious my own self!

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My Ten Day Water Fasting Experience: WTF Was I Thinking?? (Day 1)

Welcome to Day 1 of 10! I’ve decided to chronicle each day separately to give a more in-depth account of my experience. This way, you can see exactly how I’m feeling throughout the day. I apologize in advance if I start to sound agitated at any point of this journey. I’m simply documenting how I feel as I go through this process, so I will be trying my best to be as candid and transparent as possible. Truth be told, I am not a well disciplined health guru nor do I have prior experience water fasting for longer than a day or two. I’m learning as I go and doing my best. Besides, that’s all any of us can ever do.

Thank you to everyone who has tuned in and expressed interest in my journey over the last few days. I deeply appreciate the encouragement and will be sure to remember it when things get rough.

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T Minus Five Hours Until My Ten Day Water Fast: Fear Abounds

As I sit here sipping the remainder of my flavored sparkling water and find myself coming to terms with the notion that it will more than likely be my last taste of flavor for the next ten days, I feel impossibly anxious. My heart is racing like I’m expected to deliver a speech to a several thousand head audience.

I keep telling myself, “It’s only a fast”, “It’s only ten days”, “It’s only water”– all of these things are true. All the same, this could be my last day living the life of someone I never thought I’d become. No more hiding. No more disappointment. No more procrastination.

Tomorrow could be the start of the life I stole from myself. I’m terrified.

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Why Am I Water Fasting For Ten Days?!

If I was previously questioning my sanity, I have officially lost my mind.

For the last few months, I have contemplated doing something really extreme. At first, I wanted to shave a design into the bottom half of my head and dye my remaining hair cotton candy colors. Next, I wanted to run off to South Korea to teach English. After that, I up and moved to Arizona, which actually didn’t seem too life-altering in the end.

Though I am an excitement junkie by nature, I have been feeling especially antsy for a drastic and breath stopping change in my life. It is hard to say why.

Okay, that’s a lie. I want a major change because I desperately need and want to shake up my life in a major way.

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