A most happy new week to all of you! I hope everyone had a great weekend. If you caught one of my last posts, you may recall that I recently went on vacation. I had promised to share some insight that I gained during that time, so here we are.
I suppose the most important thing to know about my getaway is that it was an unexpected answer to a sorrowful, but heartfelt prayer.
As I’ve previously touched upon, the latter half of this summer has been a considerable challenge. From trying to plan and launch new business ventures to pursuing a healthier, sustainable lifestyle, Summer 18 has been a physical, emotional, and mental workout beyond anything I’ve experienced before.
Though my path hasn’t been neatly paved and the night has lasted far too long for my liking, I have faced so many fears and jumped over so many mental hurdles this year. It’s been scary, thrilling, inspiring, motivating and gut wrenching all at the same time. Some things haven’t worked as well as I had hoped, while other things haven’t worked at all. These particular moments have sent me to bed crying more than once, forcing me to ask myself, “You’re performing for an empty stadium. None of this is working. Why are you still trying?”
I continue to try because I have to. If I give up, there is nothing else left for me. I know that. Falling flat on my face is preferable to the nothingness that lies just beyond the inability to keep going. The possibility of finally succeeding at something—no matter how slight—keeps me on my feet. If that’s all I’ve got to show for myself by the end of this, then it’s alright by me. At least I kept going.
Rewinding back to the end of June/early July, I was utterly exhausted. Before this point, everything was going swimmingly. Full of energy and ready to conquer the world, I was blowing through my to-do lists like it was nothing. The newness of everything was invigorating, and I genuinely reveled in the challenges I was facing.
Then I crashed. I don’t know what happened. It was as though someone had suddenly pumped the breaks, sending me right through the windshield of my own life.