Umm…. Whose Phone Is This?

Let me just start this off by saying that it is hardly uncommon for me to find items outside of my front door.

Small Amazon packages.

Large Amazon packages.

Sephora boxes.

Hungry (and extremely noisy) quails.

Gigantic, freakishly frightening Palo Verde beetles (Google these. I dare you)…

Copious amounts of sand and leaves.

Mid-sized Amazon packages.

Okay, so maybe I have a serious problem when it comes to shopping on Amazon. I’m working on it… sorta. That’s totally not the point I’m trying to make though. 

The concept that I’m trying to drive home today is plain and simple: I find random things on my doorstep on a very regular basis. Therefore, I have developed an almost compulsive habit of peeping out of my front door to see if any cool goodies (or scary creatures) are waiting for me on the patio. 

I also have a nearly compulsive tendency to track the shipping status of my online purchases multiple times a day, so I’m not too sure why I look outside for packages when I know full well that they haven’t arrived yet. It’s so weird, but it’s almost as though I expect deliveries from a mysterious benefactor to miraculously appear on a daily basis. I know this is highly improbable, but it never stops me from poking my head out into the blistering heat to check anyway. You know, “just in case”. 😛

Ya’ll, I got a bit of a shock today.

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Veggie Placenta?!

Today I decided it might be nice to spruce myself up in preparation for my birthday. 

(Naturally) I’m not going anywhere, doing anything (interesting), or seeing anyone (unless my cat counts), BUT I will have to look at myself at some point tomorrow.

Therefore, I figured it’d be best to look half decent for my own amusement. “Hobo chic” totally works for me most days, buuut I guess it won’t hurt to put forth minimal effort one day a year.

As part of my restoration project, I dug through one of my bathroom vanity drawers in search of a face mask. I quite like K-beauty products as a whole, but Korean face masks… those are my entire world. Besides, when I put them on I look like Jason Voorhees— it’s kinda creepy. 

Well, I mean, I look like Jason Voorhees if he wore poorly matching pajama pants and embarrassingly oversized shirts during his workday. I guess in that light, it isn’t so much creepy as it is sad. I really should think about changing my household attire.

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