I love you like the pain I feel when I get sad

Before I reminisce about the love we had

Before I messed us up with ridged expectations

Before I pressed your buttons, made you lose your patience

I need you like a blood transfusion when I bleed

I cry so hard, but through my tears you’re all I see

I cry so hard that I go numb, can hardly breathe

I cry so hard, but shallow cuts make me feel freed

I’m overdosing on the past… I effing miss you

I lie and say I hate you, but I know it’s not true

I lie– I say I’m glad you’re gone, but just when I do

I lie and say I’m done, then come completely unglued

Cuz you’re the air, the moon, the stars, the sun and sky

If I have ever lived, then you’re the reason why

If I have ever loved a man, then you’re the guy

If I have to leave, I can’t. I swear I’ve tried.

Please put me out of misery. I’m so distraught.

Cuz losing you’s the worst lesson that I’ve been taught

Cuz losing you’s the gift that Mother Karma brought

Cuz losing you’s exactly what my actions bought

What’s done is done! I’m reaping that which I have sowed

As I watch the life we built swiftly implode

As I watch my smile fade, crack and erode

As I watch you fail to give the f—s that you once showed

Though it hurts, your silence seems to be my sentence

25 to life: Enough to breed repentance

25 to life ain’t life; it’s just a semblance

25 to life is what I call this public penance

 

© C. M. 2018 All Rights Reserved

 

I have spent the past year listening to more rap and hip hop than I ever could have imagined. There was once a time when you couldn’t have paid me to sit through a rap album (with the exception of Eminem), which is no reflection of the music itself, but more of a testament to my childhood distaste for anything that wasn’t country lol.

My musical interests changed dramatically over time, leading me to wade deeper and deeper into rap/hip hop and its many sub-genres. What started off as a genuine desire to incorporate different elements to my own songwriting, resulted in an ever-evolving appreciation for hip hop and its artistry. Rappers are some of the most gifted people when it comes to word play and overall diction.

Now, I must admit, I’m not always a fan of the lyrical content. While not entirely a prude, I do not find it necessary to lace a song with profanity or drug references just for the heck of it. However, there are times when it simply presents an artist’s truth. And whilst I may not always agree with the delivery of their said truth, I respect their story. I am a storyteller at heart, so a well crafted rhyme is a well crafted rhyme all day long.

Listening to hip hop has literally rewired my brain, allowing me to approach my art from a totally different angle. I take a lot more risks creatively, and I have found many new avenues for expressing my opinions and emotions. Everything I do has a very different rhythm and vibe to it… even when it isn’t necessarily related to music. It has been interesting to see how something as random as a change in musical influence could impact my entire life.

Today’s post was basically the result of spending a whole lot of time listening to a whole lot of hip hop artists that I’ve grown to love. It’s a little poem-ish… a little rap-esque lol. I dunno what it is, really. I wrote it a little while ago now and tweaked a few things (i.e. censoring and word changes), so whatever it is, rereading it inspires me to continue experimenting with this style in the future. It’s not great, sure, but we’ve all got to start somewhere, right? After all, you never know what hidden talents are lurking within us. 🧐

Do any of you know of any inspiring artists (of any genre) who weave a particularly compelling story via their music? Feel free to share down below… I love discovering new stuff to listen to– and interacting with you guys!


If you enjoyed this little blurb, I’d greatly appreciate you giving it a like or sharing it with someone you think might also enjoy it.
Is there specific content you’d like to see more of on here? Please let me know! I’m always open to suggestions/requests.
Last, but not least, don’t forget to follow this blog for more stories and ramblings! Ciao for now! ❤

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*Unless otherwise specified to be property of LonersGuideToLife.com, all photos were sourced from Pexels.*
*All written content is that of yours truly. Plagiarism sucks. If you “borrow” something from someone you should always give credit where it is due, so please be sure to do so. Karma will thank you.*

 

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Written by nellsinaeternum

Just a girl lost in a daydream who is trying her best to color inside of the lines like everyone else, but is finding the act of smearing watercolor outside of the lines much, much more enjoyable.

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