Bloodied heart. Wasted dreams.

I just can’t shake this love, no matter how much pain it brings.

I’m a grounded bluebird, with its shattered, tattered wings.

Even though the bird can’t fly, it isn’t dead, for it still sings.

That’s kind of how I feel about this thing called “us”.

At least, that’s how it was… these days it’s hard— there’s only dust.

Once ironclad, we’re tear-soaked.

Now there’s only rust.

So, I guess that’s just what happens when you 

lose

my

trust.

I want to dial you up so I can hear your voice.

Don’t want to blot you out, but you leave me no choice.

I drown the hurt with Jim Beam in the red Rolls Royce.

Then I party with Barcardi—that’s how I rejoice.

When I reach out, why do I end up so empty-handed?

Even though I tell the truth, you take my honesty for granted.

I know that I was cold, confused and blatantly offhanded

But I’d still die for you!

How could you leave me bruised and stranded?

Tell me—what were you thinking when you gave that ring?

What’d you even bother for?

Did it not mean a thing?

That’s okay. I put it to rest with all my other bling.

Of all my rubies, diamonds, sapphires, it’s the piece to which I cling.

Will I ever heal?

Maybe so, but maybe not.

Will I ever love again?

Yeah, myself… because

I’m

all

I’ve

got.

Still, I’m hoping for a twist in this sick, sadistic plot

Or, will I come to see those years I loved you were for naught?

Sanguine heart. Renewed dreams.

I just can’t shake this love, no matter how much pain it brings.

I’m a grounded bluebird, with its shattered, tattered wings.

Even though the bird can’t fly, it isn’t dead, for it still sings.


 

This was written several months ago. I had originally posted it to my now defunct poetry blog that I never could be bothered to log into. Since I have found it more convenient to post my creative stuff over here, it seemed as good a day as any to bust out this particular piece.
This has more of a “rap” vibe, so it sounds better recited with a certain rhythm. I say “rap” because the idea of me truly rapping is not only cringey AF, but flat out silly. Just imagine Martha Stewart rapping and trying to be dead serious about it. I totally love Martha Stewart (mmm… homemade muffins), but homegirl is hardly Tupac, you know? 😀
As made evident by this poem, my last breakup was a rather devastating experience. Those closest to me have frequently made comments about how “surprisingly well” I managed to cope. Eh. It wasn’t easy. In fact, the entire ordeal was not only emotionally jolting, but unspeakably humiliating.
At the end of the day, I thank God above for having had the strength to continuously pursue creative activities throughout that dark and confusing time. It allowed me to alleviate the pain I was in. It allowed me to heal. It allowed me to look ahead.
I share this poem today in order to encourage those who are suffering from a broken heart or a general lack of faith in the possibility of finding someone to love them for the individual they are. Though it can be exceedingly difficult to have your faith in love tested, never give up on finding it. Keep an open mind and an open heart. Forgive those who have trespassed against you… for your own sake and peace of mind. Above all, love yourself– always.

You are beautiful. You are worthy.

The sooner you remember that, the sooner you will find someone who feels the exact same way. XOXO

*

As always, feel free to leave a comment below. You know, if you feel inclined to do so. I love chatting with you guys!
If you enjoyed this little blurb, I’d greatly appreciate you giving it a like or sharing it with someone you think might also enjoy it.
Also, don’t forget to follow this blog for more stories and ramblings! Ciao for now! ❤

 

Chanelsignature

*Unless otherwise specified to be property of LonersGuideToLife.com, all photos were sourced from Pexels.*

 

 

 

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Written by nellsinaeternum

Just a girl lost in a daydream who is trying her best to color inside of the lines like everyone else, but is finding the act of smearing watercolor outside of the lines much, much more enjoyable.

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