The entire process of revisiting the written events of my past has been surprisingly cathartic. In the very short time that I’ve been doing this I have been struck by a handful of profoundly beneficial epiphanies, all of which have helped me to make significant strides in my present day life. I’m having great fun over here…hopefully you guys are too.

Today’s post is reasonably lackluster on the surface (my apologies, guys); I was just a college student painting her nails the night before starting a new job. As seemingly benign as this post is, it was actually interesting for me to look over it because I could actually recognize this period of time as being a sort of “jump-off point” for a number of issues that would later prove to be quite problematic for me.

I don’t want to spoil later posts this early in the game, but I will say that the paying off of my credit cards was hardly the end of things. As responsible as I was trying to be when I opted to work throughout college, I’m still not sure that it was the best choice—for me. My parents actually never required me to work throughout high school or college because focusing on my studies was of prime importance.

All the same, I wanted more freedom and more resources available to me to achieve the things I desired. The problem was that I wanted everything my mind could possibly conceive, and I wanted it now. I don’t think I ever fully comprehended the concept of “walking before running”, so I started living a lifestyle that was not congruent with being a typical college student. I won’t lie—it was the best time ever. However, I was financially irresponsible as all get out—not so great.

Long story short, I developed a very serious shopping addiction while in college. The more money I made, the more I spent. Against my better judgement, my compulsive shopping habits continued for years. Instead of drinking and partying to cope with stress and depression (as I had in high school), I began relying on designer clothing and extravagant vacations as a means of getting my “fix”. Ahh…the stupidity of youth.

Thankfully, I have stopped the compulsive shopping and spending. If anyone is particularly interested in hearing more about my experiences with this or you want to learn how I eventually put an end to it, just shoot me a comment.

Otherwise, the best financial advice I can give you guys is a line that came straight out of the mouth of my beloved late grandfather, “Don’t borrow what you don’t have.” Touché, granddad, touché.


September 17, 2006 


I have just finished painting my nails. The color is called “Cloud Nine”, and it’s for good reason. The shade is a cloudy white. My nails still look like s—t though. I will be going to the nail place to have them done professionally ASAP, so it’s all good.

I somehow managed to convince my parents to lend me three grand in order to pay off some of my credit cards. I truly appreciate that. In exchange, I will pay them $500 a month until it’s repaid in full. Not a bad rap if you ask me. It should be plenty doable. I just need to pay this off and be done with the whole thing…that’s all I care about right now.

Hmm…what did I do today? My car needed gas so I filled it up and got it washed this morning. I took notes for class too. That was good. My hair was looking rather dull, so I deep conditioned it when I got back from the car washing place. Now I’m just letting my nails dry.

I didn’t do too much else—just sorta milled about feeling nervous. I am somewhat dreading tomorrow because I don’t know what to wear, how my day will be… or if I’ll even wake up in the morning.

Oh!—I bickered with Adam today as well. I don’t want to even get into that. He called me “manipulative”. Right.


K. called not too long ago. She asked if I wanted to see The Black Dahlia with her tonight. Unfortunately, I had to decline. I need to go to bed around nine tonight, but that’s when the movie starts. Maybe we can see it next weekend, but we’d have to go on Friday because I have to spend Saturday with Adam. It’s our anniversary. How precious.

It would be really nice to surprise Adam with something special, but I don’t know what to do. He deserves a really sweet gift, but it’s hard to know what would be suitable. I’ll have think about it, I guess.



Written by nellsinaeternum

Just a girl lost in a daydream who is trying her best to color inside of the lines like everyone else, but is finding the act of smearing watercolor outside of the lines much, much more enjoyable.

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