Welcome to Day 1 of 10! I’ve decided to chronicle each day separately to give a more in-depth account of my experience. This way, you can see exactly how I’m feeling throughout the day. I apologize in advance if I start to sound agitated at any point of this journey. I’m simply documenting how I feel as I go through this process, so I will be trying my best to be as candid and transparent as possible. Truth be told, I am not a well disciplined health guru nor do I have prior experience water fasting for longer than a day or two. I’m learning as I go and doing my best. Besides, that’s all any of us can ever do.
Thank you to everyone who has tuned in and expressed interest in my journey over the last few days. I deeply appreciate the encouragement and will be sure to remember it when things get rough.
I just took my first sip of purified water. Ugh. My mouth is as dry as a cotton ball for some reason. The water tasted sweet to me though. I wonder if that’s normal?
As usual, I was fighting sleep last night and didn’t even think about going to bed until after 1:30. It was time well utilized though. I spent several hours working on various projects, including a new poem for Pearl.Cried.Wolf. (Please check the About section if you’re into poetry and wish to check it out!) I tried watching some YouTube videos as well, but I found myself gravitating towards my beloved Korean street food vlogs. (Sigh) This is going to be a very long ten days.
My first thoughts of food cropped up at seven sharp. I’d only been awake for an hour. Normally, I wouldn’t be hungry or remotely interested in food until at least ten or eleven. Now I suddenly want anything and everything my mind can dream up simply because I can’t have any of it. Chocolate chip pancakes. An upside down caramel macchiato. Scrambled eggs. Grilled chicken salad. Kimchi and rice. Pistachios. Pistachio ice cream (my favorite). Good grief, I’m actually grinning like a fool as I think up foods to torture myself with. Wait— Is my mouth watering? Seriously??
I don’t know what I’m going to do with myself today, but it needs not be that nonsense. It seems as though a mental hissy fit is imminent though. There is zero possibility of me actually being hungry, but I’m already sensing a silent freak out. However, this is precisely why I am fasting. I can’t eat simply because I want to. Self-control is the name of the game now…
Why, why, why did I just Google “shrimp crunch rolls”?? Ugh. Now I’m salivating like a rabid dog. Sexy.
Just hopped out of the shower after waking up from a several hour nap. Sheesh…nap. I sound like a friggin’ toddler or something, only toddlers get snacks once they wake up. I had some strange dreams and woke up feeling slightly shaky. It seems as though a headache wants to creep up on me, but it isn’t too annoying as of yet.
I am, however, experiencing a lack of mental clarity. My mind is feeling about as sharp as a pair of children’s safety scissors, which is not great if I hope to get any work or studying done. The best way to describe it is to say it feels like being on the outside looking in at myself…slightly out of body and dreamy. It is hardly uncomfortable though. Instead, I feel unbelievably serene and indifferent towards food…or anything else.
But can someone please tell me why it is past noon and I have hardly touched my water?? I don’t feel like drinking right now, but will force myself to. Now, if that was a gallon of iced coffee, it would’ve been gone yesterday!
(Sorry for the grainy photo…it’s crap, I know. Had to use my iPad instead of my “good” camera.)
I want to eat. I really, really want to eat. It is only Day One, but I am already wondering why I chose ten days instead of seven.
It has now been a solid 24 hours since my last meal. So far, I have only consumed half of my bottle. Although it may not seem like much, I feel as though it is considerably more water than I would normally have.
I’m definitely hungry at this point. I hate to disappoint my growling stomach by ignoring it, but it is too late to turn back now. Don’t get me wrong though… I have momentarily wished that I hadn’t decided to blog this journey at all. I could have called the whole thing off, postponed it or altered the rules of the fast just so I could have something as small as a saltine cracker. However, I’d be letting myself down along with anyone else who may be cheering me on.
My head is hurting a bit, so I’ve engaged in relatively calm activities. Not to give TMI or anything, but I have been peeing like a racehorse since noon. I was reading some more about water fasting and saw some “interesting” info on bowel movements. Let’s just say that I haven’t encountered any such things at this stage of the game.
I’m starting to wish I had purchased a new scale and checked my current weight prior to the fast. My decision to wait until after the fast was influenced by my tendency to obsess over scale numbers. This water fast is not primarily about my actual weight, so I don’t believe I should stress myself out over how much I lose (or not). The act of supporting my body through a healing process is the most important thing I can do at this time, so I really want to keep my focus on that, for now.
This will be my last update for today (providing nothing out of the ordinary occurs before tomorrow). Overall, I would say I did well for my first day. I went in the kitchen a little while ago, admiring what little food remains in the fridge. I am craving a salad and coffee like no one’s business. I can’t even believe it.
Physically, things have been pretty mild. I didn’t have any expectations for how the day would go, so I am pleased to say that I’m feeling…okay. I gave myself a nice little massage with my wand earlier, which helped to melt away whatever stress I had. But yeah, outside of hourly runs to the bathroom, I’m feeling good. My stomach is starting to growl again and hunger pangs are starting to mess with me a little bit. I still have half the bottle to drink though, so that will simply have to be enough to quiet it down.
Mentally…I’m in pretty decent spirits. I’m not as irritable as I thought I would be. In fact, I’m not irritable at all. It is a bit difficult for me to imagine another nine days of this, but I am determined to finish what I’ve started and not cave in to my desires. For instance, my brain keeps telling me to go sneak something from the pantry. I really, really wish it would shut up.
At the moment, I’m just feeling…not sad, but something similar to it. I keep thinking how nice it would be to simply eat when I’m hungry and live like a normal person without weight problems. It becomes frustrating to devote so much time, money and energy to an endeavor that really shouldn’t be this difficult. I should be able to go into the kitchen and simply eat an apple, but I can’t due to feeling the need to be so extreme with my weight loss efforts. It just sucks, you know?
I do need to share a quick little story that happened earlier. I was sitting here minding my own business when some guy started punching the doorbell and knocking like an absolute madman. It ended up being some Uber Eats guy trying to deliver a pizza to some woman who just doesn’t live here.
Of course, my hungry mind was thinking, “I don’t know who the heck this Michelle girl is, but I would be delighted to take the pizza off of your hands and eat it—Er, I mean, find her for you.” What a fine day for a pizza to mysteriously lose its way right onto my front doorstep, huh? Pfft! The devil is a lie lol.
Anyway, I’m going to retire for the night. I probably won’t fall asleep, but I will turn the light off in an attempt to fool my body into forgetting about food…at least for the night.